A Faith Beyond Feeling

It seems the term "Dark night of the Soul" coined by St. John of the Cross in the 16th century has become for some a trite synonym for not feeling it with God.  "God I'm just not feeling it.  I need a goose-bump, Holy Spirit quiver...hook a brotha up!"  But what if the last frontier of faith is utter absence?  In the moments before Jesus' death we are told that he cried from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"  I have begun to wonder if our own faith journey should be leading to that moment as well.

C.S. Lewis once stated that he longed for "not my idea of God, but God."  We have all created ideas of God.  Some of them are packaged and marketed by companies and industries while others take on names like Methodist, Baptist, conservative, liberal, or charismatic.  Our culture both in and outside the church is feverishly manufacturing an emotional, experiential "God."  Our ultimate reality, purpose and meaning has become dictated by feelings, emotive moments, or spiritualized encounters.  In such a societal/church culture, how do we reconcile the words of Mother Teresa, "He has destroyed everything in me.  The only thing that keeps me on the surface - is obedience."

I don't think Abraham was feeling it when he tied Isaac to a wooden altar; I don't think Moses was feeling it when he spent decades in exile; I don't think David was feeling it when Absalom usurped his throne; I don't think Jesus was feeling it when he sweat blood in Gethsemane.

I wonder if I am willing to sacrifice my intimacy, my experience, my feeling, my idea of God for God?  I wonder if I am willing to one day say, "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?"